I.T.V.

Well, I've got a sad tale from long ago
I heard from a friend I used to know
You might think he lived in a broken home
'Cause his dad used to tell him:

"If I've gotta pay this license fee
Our household's watching the BBC
Yeah, BBC1 or BBC2
Doesn't matter to me
Just not ITV
Just not ITV"

"'Cause if I've gotta pay this license fee
This house will stay commercial-free
So no Tiswas or Rising Damp
There's nothing you're gonna see on ITV
On ITV"

"I'd better not catch you taking a peek
No Arthur Daley, Metal Mickey
I've paid quite enough already for the BBC
There'll be no ITV
No ITV"

"'Cause if I've gotta pay this license fee
We'll all be watching the BBC
Don't care what all of your friends can see
We won't ever be watching ITV"